Wednesday, January 22, 2014

A Letter to My Future Child

Hi Love,

The truth is, at least once in your life, you will have your heart broken. No one is invulnerable. But stop counting after the first. There is no point. It is one of the unwritten rules you may have to discover for yourself. Or you may read the rest of this letter and take things with a grain of salt.

Make no mistake: your first heartbreak will scar you. From time to time the bitterness will claw from your heart to your throat and settle there like an aftertaste of a bad meal, turning the minutes into days of melancholia before retreating, like lightning preparing to strike again. Trust me, it will always be there, deny as you might. You will carry it for the rest of your life. It will follow you like a shadow wherever there is light. So will the second, third, and so on, because they will essentially be similar as the first.

You will only have a few ways to get by. Punishing yourself should never be one of them. I admit: there is a time for weeping, as it should. My child, only those you hold dear deserve the tears that will wash your eyes so that you may see clearly again. You will like the clarity it will bring. There are days for despair, and then there are days for others. You will learn to make music, write poetry, draw. Art will be your refuge. But it will also be your tormentor. It will make you forget and it will make you remember, sometimes more than what you will expect. In any case, write. Or draw. Or sing. Persist.

Continue your art while you are moving on — especially while you are in that stage. Moving on is one of the most challenging phases in life, which is why you need to temper it with words, or songs, or sketches. Some call it distraction, which is a subtle way of saying preoccupation. Others call it outlet, which is essentially the same creature. But whatever name you give it, you will need it. Not simply because you need to survive but because sometimes all you need is the opportunity to listen to yourself the way your songs will sing to you, or your words will speak to you, or your sketches will show you who you have become and what else you could possibly be. Your ability to move on is contingent upon the question of finding yourself.

Rest but don't surrender. Give yourself the shot at happiness you rightfully deserve, not because you are the center of the universe but because there will come another moment when you will want someone so bad you can't help but worry. It may feel like the first time. Don't confuse yourself — it is impossible to love like that again. The subsequent ones can only be greater or lesser, and you will gauge each one according to the one it followed, which is normal, knowing that we are creatures bound by our own invention called logic. But uncertainty is certain, so each time you feel that feeling, love like it is your last. The song has a point: let the one you hold be the one you want. Judge the relationship not while you are there but when it is over. Almost all of them will have to end at some point.

Someday you will meet another someone. When that day arrives, don't just follow. To follow is to be perpetually left behind. Rather, chase. Once you find that person, do everything you can to be with her, or him, whichever you prefer. And when you are there, be clear with your intentions. Refrain from beating around the bush. Do so and you will lose yourself in the haze, only to end up trying to find it again.

If someone professes his or her love for you and you are unable to reciprocate the feeling, be gentle. Be gentle with the hearts you intend to break. Imagining yourself in their situation is the best way to realize the possible consequences of rejection. No one wants rejection. Not anyone, certainly not you my child. Be gentle but do not nurture any false hope. They will hate you for it but will love you all the same. In other words, false hope will confuse them. So never put people in limbo. Say yes or say no, never I don't know or give me time or I'll think about it, when the question is asked. To delay is to be impossible.

I am telling you these things not because it is imperative for a father to sow fear in his child's heart but because I wish that you may grow prepared for whatever life will throw against your way. This readiness I never had, so I took it upon myself to spare you the trouble of having to learn things too late. I learned the hard way. You will, too, but at least you now have an idea of what to expect. It may be true that the world is your oyster, young as you are, but don't believe it like gospel truth. What you already know betrays what you are yet to understand.

The most salient lessons in life are contradictions. For example: love like a child ahead of his time — carefree but not careless. This you will understand eventually.

I expect you to doubt one or some or all of the things I have told you in this letter. It is only natural. And because you do have doubts, take my final advice:

For your reference, ask your mom. She knows everything I told you. She's like the brain I wish I had. Everything about her is genius.




♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ said...

Just. Beautiful :3

kae said...

there will come another moment when you will want someone so bad you can't help but worry...


wish you were my dad. hihi ;p

SPLICE said...

Thanks Rei! Sometimes I just want to skip to the future, and in this case I want to skip to twenty years, maybe twenty-five years hence and force my future child to read this. Yep, force. I'm afraid the son/daughter wouldn't want to read this in the first place he he he :)

Hi Kae! If I were your dad, perhaps you won't like me. I think I'd be one strict parent. I kid. Just a bit, maybe. In any case, I'd find the opportune moment to say "who's your daddy!?" haha!

kae said...

I swear I don't want you to be my Dad. If you know what I mean. Haha. All right. I'll stop flirting.:D

SPLICE said...

I don't know what to say! :)

kaeeee said...

Now I've rendered you speechless? Impossible! OK. I stop flirting. :D